The Mom Who Found Out How Hard It Can Be to Get Pregnant
“On feeling alone. The more time went on, the less I talked about trying to get pregnant. There were people around me who were getting pregnant, people around me who were having babies. I slowly just felt more and more isolated. I didn’t really know anyone who was dealing with this, especially at my age. I started seeing a therapist, who really helped me to see this as a temporary situation. I wouldn’t always be childless — the treatment might work, my life would go on.”
Dear Man Who Loves The Woman Who Has Been To Hell and Back
“I can tell you that you are not responsible for fixing her, nor does she want you to. Men are fixers, and I understand it’s in your nature to want to make this better; make her better. But this is her journey. This is her pain. Her healing will not be pretty. At times she will be the hurricane and you will need to be the storm shelter – let her rage, let her anger and her fury and her pain unleash from her heart, let the weight of the trauma she has stored in her body for so many years come undone. Don’t fight it, don’t stop it, don’t fix it. Just be that safe place for her to come home to when the storm ends and the tears begin. You cannot fix her, you can only love her.
I can tell you the woman who has been to hell and back has a story written on her heart. A story which says everyone who should have protected her, didn’t. Everyone she trusted, hurt her. Everyone she loved, left her. She waits for you to continue the story, to be the next person to reject her, abandon her, hurt her. She expects it. She thinks it’s only a matter of time. And this is why she pushes you away, hurts you, leaves you, when you have only ever loved her. She doesn’t believe she is worthy of a love like yours, and believes it’s only a matter of time until you realise this too.
You asked me what it means to love harder.
It means you will need to be better than anyone else at love. It means you will need to love with more strength, more patience, more grace, more determination, more understanding, more perseverance. It means you will need to love her more than anyone else has before or will again. It means you will need to love her until she understands what love is, and believes in a love she’s never known.
It means you will need to love her hard enough to be the one to re-write the story on her heart.
But dear man, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t everything she needs, and didn’t have everything it takes, to love the woman who has been to hell and back.”