10/13/17

The Mom Who Found Out How Hard It Can Be to Get Pregnant

By

https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/how-i-got-this-baby-discovering-getting-pregnant-is-hard.html?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s3&utm_campaign=sharebutton-t

“On feeling alone. The more time went on, the less I talked about trying to get pregnant. There were people around me who were getting pregnant, people around me who were having babies. I slowly just felt more and more isolated. I didn’t really know anyone who was dealing with this, especially at my age. I started seeing a therapist, who really helped me to see this as a temporary situation. I wouldn’t always be childless — the treatment might work, my life would go on.”

http://lessonslearnedinlife.com/dear-man-who-loves-the-woman-who-has-been-to-hell-and-back-2/

Dear Man Who Loves The Woman Who Has Been To Hell and Back

“I can tell you that you are not responsible for fixing her, nor does she want you to. Men are fixers, and I understand it’s in your nature to want to make this better; make her better. But this is her journey. This is her pain. Her healing will not be pretty. At times she will be the hurricane and you will need to be the storm shelter – let her rage, let her anger and her fury and her pain unleash from her heart, let the weight of the trauma she has stored in her body for so many years come undone. Don’t fight it, don’t stop it, don’t fix it. Just be that safe place for her to come home to when the storm ends and the tears begin. You cannot fix her, you can only love her.
 
I can tell you the woman who has been to hell and back has a story written on her heart. A story which says everyone who should have protected her, didn’t. Everyone she trusted, hurt her. Everyone she loved, left her. She waits for you to continue the story, to be the next person to reject her, abandon her, hurt her. She expects it. She thinks it’s only a matter of time. And this is why she pushes you away, hurts you, leaves you, when you have only ever loved her. She doesn’t believe she is worthy of a love like yours, and believes it’s only a matter of time until you realise this too.
 
You asked me what it means to love harder.
 
It means you will need to be better than anyone else at love. It means you will need to love with more strength, more patience, more grace, more determination, more understanding, more perseverance. It means you will need to love her more than anyone else has before or will again. It means you will need to love her until she understands what love is, and believes in a love she’s never known.
 
It means you will need to love her hard enough to be the one to re-write the story on her heart.
 
But dear man, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t everything she needs, and didn’t have everything it takes, to love the woman who has been to hell and back.”
 
Author: Kathy Parker

 

 

 

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02/22/17

It’s been almost 3 years since I last worked. Since then, I’ve been to countless medical appointments from all over the Bay Area. I want to get better so maybe in the future I can help my husband provide for our family. Since I came to the US 16 years ago, I worked & went to school so I can provide for my mom. I had to literally work during the day & go to school at night so I can send money back to the Philippines. Working gave me a purpose. It allowed me to take care of my mom’s basic & medical needs. Now that I’m unable to do what I was trained to do, I’m learning to appreciate the small things. Not having a pay check means I have to be dependent on someone else to survive & I continue to struggle with that currently. On the other hand, I’m also in the process of adjusting to my life at home with my loving Husband, mom & 2 amazing corgis. I managed to control my spending habits. I’m learning to prepare healthy meals. I’m trying to embrace minimalism. I know my lifestyle changed & I thought for a moment that I will not survive it. But now I’m embracing my transformation. We now focus on what’s really important. Hopefully this life changing event will better prepare me for my next role in life. #findingmypurpose

02/11/17

Miriam College high school prom 2017 #missingmyhs

 

A dangerous plan, just this time
A stranger’s hand clutched in mine
I’ll take this chance, so call me blind
I’ve been waiting all my life
Please don’t scar this young heart
Just take my hand
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming (I don’t know what we should do)
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you
Hold me close through the night
Don’t let me go, we’ll be alright
Touch my soul and hold it tight
I’ve been waiting all my life
I won’t scar your young heart
Just take my hand
‘Cause I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don’t know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you
Please don’t go, I’ve been waiting so long
Oh, you don’t even know me at all
But I was made for loving you
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don’t know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you
Songwriters: Ed Sheeran / Tori Kelly / Tori Wells
I Was Made for Loving You lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

02/12/17

To the Chronically Ill Mommas Who Worry That They Aren’t Enough

https://themighty.com/2017/01/advice-for-moms-sick-chronic-health-conditions/

http://earthables.com/woman-builds-dog-bedroom/#.WKC4oQbl36M.facebook

 

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Almost civilly married for 3 years Mr C! Excited for the endless possibilities my

http://www.businessinsider.com/volkswagen-bus-concept-features-detroit-auto-show-photos-features-2017-1/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=social-share-click-thru&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=slideshow&utm_term=mobileweb%2F#now-volkswagen-is-back-with-a-new-microbus-concept-that-is-also-electric-that-fits-in-with-volkswagens-goal-to-release-30-electric-or-hybrid-vehicle-models-by-2025-an-aim-made-in-response-to-the-volkswagen-emissions-scandal-volkswagen-says-it-will-launch-its-electric-offensive-in-2020-4

 

I met you in the dark, you lit me up
You made me feel as though I was enough
We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up

Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest

I knew I loved you then
But you’d never know
‘Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go
I know I needed you
But I never showed
But I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

I’ll wake you up with some breakfast in bed
I’ll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head
And I’ll take the kids to school
Wave them goodbye
And I’ll thank my lucky stars for that night

When you looked over your shoulder
For a minute, I forget that I’m older
I wanna dance with you right now
Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever
And I swear that everyday you’ll get better
You make me feel this way somehow

I’m so in love with you
And I hope you know
Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold
We’ve come so far my dear
Look how we’ve grown
And I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

I wanna live with you
Even when we’re ghosts
‘Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most

I’m gonna love you till
My lungs give out
I promise till death we part like in our vows
So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows
‘Cause now it’s just you and me till we’re grey and old
Just say you won’t let go
Just say you won’t let go

Just say you won’t let go
Oh, just say you won’t let go

Written by Neil Richard Ormandy, James Arthur, Steve Solomon • Copyright © Ultra Tunes, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

01/05/17

I have been told to just snap of it and to stop making excuses. I am not making any excuses and I can’t just snap out of it. Losing a everything I have worked hard for is a very difficult thing to process. I can’t just go on line and find whatever job is out there because I am unable to sustain working a regular work day.

 

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11/15/16

Trying to read but having a hard time absorbing the concepts. It’s been 2 years since I last worked & there’s been days that I’ve been struggling with grief & sadness. I feel such a total failure. But I also realized that I have to start accepting the current life that I have now. I won’t be able to move on from the past hurts & great losses. I have to continue working on my self & my recovery.15129560_10154694888596565_6914124915054412672_o

Conversations with hubby

M: Coldplay will have a concert in Manila. I just thought about our tickets 🎫for next year. The concert 🎤 is schedule is for October 2017 & venue is atLevi’s Stadium. If we will have a baby, let’s make sure I give birth before then ok? Di ko ata kaya pumunta ng concert na malaki tiyan ko.

K: 😂

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10/26/16

Let’s Linger Longer and Fall in Love